Blog

I love this verse: it conveys concisely how I overcame homosexuality. I did not run from my same-sex attraction; I attended to the need at the core of my same-sex attraction, which was for masculine solidarity. My need for masculine love needed to be purified from sensual (‘I need gay sex’) and political (‘My gay self must be recognized on par with straights’) motives. Such refinement is painful and essential. It occurs only as one surrenders his/her entire identity to Jesus

I grieve for the church. I grieve that the church offends God by misusing His Name. Mostly I grieve for the young homosexual Christian who no longer has any clear direction and truth to follow. I grieve with everything within me. Ole was among the first international interns we had at Desert Stream in the early nineties. A same-sex struggler, he fought hard for his healing. Now alongside his wife and many children, Ole fights for the freedom of same-sex strugglers throughout

Many see the end in sight: finally, our nation is recognizing that homosexuality is a moral good—utterly normal, utterly on par with heterosexuality as solid ground for marriage and family. Utter nonsense. While praying the other day, God showed me a picture of an oil spill that was spreading out and encasing vulnerable, beautiful creatures. At first the oil had little effect on them. Then it constricted movement, and finally their breathing. I saw a powerful balm being appli

Jesus’ humiliation has been eclipsed with glory. So is ours, as we testify of how His mercy has washed us and solidified the new creation. Over lunch the other day, a friend recounted his healing story. To do so, he began with his shame, which was founded upon a history of early childhood sexual abuse. Staggering into young adulthood with same-sex attraction, he sought the help of two pastors who abused him sexually and spiritually. He vowed to trust no-one. Yet he knew Jesus

Thank God for Easter. Thank God for the season of Easter that spans far beyond its six weeks in the Church calendar; Jesus’ resurrection reminds us daily that He has trumped our old nature and activates us afresh to resume our pilgrimage. Following the Risen Christ is always a path toward maturity, with clear markers for our sexual and relational humanity. United with Him, we ascend slowly towards a horizon of boundless light. Each morning I rejoice in these words I share wit

Merciful Discipline 6: Humbled, We Shine ‘When You disciplined us, we could barely whisper a prayer.’ (IS 26:16) ‘Christ’s abiding presence in the midst of our suffering is gradually transforming our darkness into light.’ Pope Benedict The sexual abuse crisis in the Church brings us to our knees. We do not kneel politely but painfully, a sprawl rather than a pose. On behalf of those felled by the weight of a priest’s perversion, we too stumble and fall. Behold the scandal we

— Intimate Authority: Holy Week Meditation, 1 Why was Mary Magdalene the first disciple Jesus entrusted with the message of His resurrection? A brief meditation on her life points to intimacy with Jesus as the basis for her unique authority. His gift to her was Mercy, a free gift that nevertheless demands a response. She surrendered all to Him; her gift to Jesus was herself. His life became hers. More than not, the Gospels describe her weeping and lingering in His Presence. T

Merciful Discipline 5: Hopeful, We Fight for the Dignity and Integrity of Our Priests The fine work and selfless dedication of the great majority of priests should not be obscured by the transgressions of some. – Pope Benedict I will raise up for Myself a faithful priest who will do what is in My heart and mind, and his house will be firmly established. (1 Samuel 2:15) As a new Catholic, I have a fresh appreciation for the honorable, difficult office of the priest. I rely upo

Merciful Discipline 4: Hopeful, We Rebuild Trust We do not want you to grieve…as those who have no hope. (1Thes. 4:13) Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. (1Cor. 4:2) Cursed is the man who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord…He will dwell in the parched places of the earth. (Jer. 17: 5, 6) One struggles to consider a more profound violation of trust than priestly abuse of chil

Merciful Discipline 3: Broken, We Endure Shame In the Church, God has put Himself into hands that betray Him again and again. – Pope Benedict Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may Your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need. Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of Your Name; deliver us, and forgive us our sins for Your Name’s sake. Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?” (PS 79:8-10a) We repent on behalf of the abuse-broken chu

— Mercy’s Meal 40 Days of Mercy Devotional – Lent 2012 – Day 20 Jesus, may Your pure and healthy blood circulate in my ailing organism, and may Your pure and healthy body transform my weak body, and may a healthy, vigorous life throb within me… (1089) Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. (Isaiah 55:2) Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My bloo

Merciful Discipline 2: Broken, We Repent for the Church’s Mishandling of Abuse ‘This crisis isn’t about sex abuse. It is about covering up sex abuse.’ Spokesperson for victims of priestly abuse ‘God’s justice summons us to give account of our actions and to conceal nothing.’ Pope Benedict to priests who abused children As the Church, we are united as members of one Body. When one is abused, all suffer. When abuse is covered up or mishandled by Church leaders, the abused are a

— Mercy, Not Sacrifice 40 Days of Mercy Devotional – Lent 2012 – Day 12 I am more generous towards sinners than to the just. It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My Mercy. (1275) It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

— Mercy and the Truth of Sin 40 Days of Mercy Devotional – Lent 2012 – Day 8 The knowledge of my own misery allows me to know the immensity of Your mercy. (56) Do not withhold Your mercy from me, O Lord; may Your love and Your truth always protect me. (Psalm 40:10-11) Father, we ask for great clarity and discernment regarding the nature of Mercy. Please rouse us where we have adopted worldly ideas of her. We pray for the conviction of sin in our own hearts and in those we lov

— Merciful Discipline 1: Broken, We Pray for the Abused No wound runs deeper in the Church today than the sexual abuse of children by her priests. Over the last 30 years, the wound has become apparent as brave, broken souls throughout the world have dared to confess the perversion deposited in them by priests. We the Church bear this wound. We are the broken: bewildered, angry, more tempted to strike the Church than to heal her. And yet we are ‘her’, the wounded bride, as nee

— Faithful Mother for an Adulterous Generation 40 Days of Mercy Devotional – Lent 2012 – Day 3 ‘Rejoice, for you are closer to God in His mercy than a baby to its mother’s heart.’ (423) ‘The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all that He has made.’ (Psalm 145:8,9) ‘Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget

‘How can I not?’ he reasoned, as he listed the divorces, affairs, co-habitation and children born out-of-wedlock in his family. We are inundated daily with the breakdown of holy boundaries in heterosexual relating. A new poll reveals that 61% of US singles have sex on their first date; not surprisingly, for the first time in US history, more than half of births to American women under 30 now occur outside of marriage. The devolving of heterosexual morality in our culture is t

I wanted you to know that on Easter (April 2011) this past year I was confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church. That significant decision began three years ago and involved two rounds of RCIA (the adult catechism course), wise counsel, and much prayer. I want to emphasize that my decision is a personal one. Desert Stream Ministries has not become Catholic; it remains ecumenical and will continue to serve a variety of churches, mostly evangelical, which seek to minister to broke

Bearing witness of Christ with the whole story of one’s life is costly. Especially when your story involves sharing shameful things. Throughout this year, I have shared with scores of people from my new church of how Jesus healed me from homosexuality. Most have never heard of such a thing; it challenges conservatives who think you cannot be healed, just obedient and miserable, and it shocks  liberals who believe nothing about homosexuality needs to be healed. On whatever poi

Does Luke 17:25 reduce His Kingdom, that swirl of holy creativity in which the blind receive sight, the deaf hear, the lame walk, and the mute shout for joy, to the kingdom of self? Then I read that the Greek word for ‘within’ can be translated ‘among’. A light dawned: the ‘Kingdom is among us’ points to the whole Body of Christ in which each must bring his/her gift and offer it to others. In other words, the Kingdom is not mostly an interior gift that we contain and brood ov