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  • Writer's pictureAndrew Comiskey

Father Knows Best

‘The idea that one’s sex is a feeling, not a fact, has permeated our culture and is leaving casualties in its wake.’ Dr. Paul McHugh

In families torn apart by gay and transgender-identified youth, the father’s voice is rarely heard.

In his silence, mother goes into overdrive to defend her LGBT child while father looks on sadly, blankly, disengaged by shame and guilt.

Beneath his mutterings lie a muted roar, a yearning to give form and order to the disordered life for which he still possesses vision. He knows his daughter is neither a lesbian nor a man trapped in a woman’s body; she is his beloved girl whose gender fracturing is a cry for his confirmation, comfort, and, yes, correction.

In order to secure a whole gender self, every child on the planet needs a father who is salient: equal parts strength and sensitivity. Such fathers impart ballast to kids. Men who command kids’ respect while tuning into their emotional needs help children stay centered as they navigate the storm of a culture in chaos, sexually-speaking.

My four adult kids blessed me this Father’s Day with the following reflections (I give you snippets…): ‘In your faith, you modeled strength and rigor, combined with love and warmth…’ ‘Your counsel to me was firm and sensitive…’ ‘You were always intentional with us kids and you always stuck to your convictions…’ ‘Your faith was firm but you also entrusted us to Him. That enabled you to be generous to us even when we were far from the truth.’

We live in an age when kids are tossed about by waves of gender confusion: ‘I feel therefore I must be…’ Fathers, help your children rightfully navigate the myriad feelings they experience en route to wholeness.

Speak now fathers, your children are listening. You know best. Your silence invites fools to fill their ears.

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