Fighting for Our Best – Part 1: What Parents Know
Do not be afraid of them; the Lord Himself will fight for you.’ (Deut. 1:22)
My mother’s tears spoke louder words in response to my ‘coming out’ years ago. ‘I want more for you,’ she then said.
Parents want more for their kids than misbegotten identities and relationships that render them fruitless. Some convey this concern better than others. We as parents must learn to express our concern well. It is an expression of loving authority.
Annette and I are the parents of four adult children; together, we fight for their fruitfulness. How can we not? Through God’s gift of committed sexual love, we created them! It is normal, right, and godly to advocate prayerfully for our children: ‘In Your mercy God, show our children the gift that they are and how to offer that gift fruitfully!’
Times have changed since my coming out 37 years ago. Born Kathlyn, the transgender daughter of Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, has rechristened herself Stephen. She recently uploaded a video that celebrates her new male self as ‘a queer and nerd fighter’ with a penchant for ‘any male-identified person wearing thigh highs or garters.’ Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad.
My heart grieves for every parent today whose children leave home as an awkwardly emerging man or woman and returns to announce his/her newly re-created ‘gender’ self. Doubtlessly all young adults tempted to do so have faced profound conflicts of soul. But to resolve those conflicts by forcing one’s genitals into lifeless outlets or butchering them altogether is nothing short of demonic: ‘rebellion like the sin of witchcraft, arrogance like the evil of idolatry.’ (1 S 15:23)
All we as parents can do is weep and cry out for the Mercy that rendered us fruitful. We as co-creators of new life have limits. We cannot make our adult children’s moral decisions for them. But we can nurture a vision of fruitfulness for their lives in spite of any declaration to the contrary.
That child will always be the fruit of our love. So shall we implore the God who made us fruitful to gently woo our children back to Himself—the One who knows them best. He alone has power to grant them the ‘more’ of His splendid design for their lives.
‘The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.’ (Ex. 14:14)
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