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  • Writer's pictureAndrew Comiskey

Rousing Her Radiance: Day 27

Overcoming Domestic Violence

The Christian mom who had just poured out her heart to the pastor about her ‘out-and-proud’ son responded to his counsel incredulously: ‘You mean I must embrace him as ‘gay’ because that’s who he is and that’s how God made him?’

For parents with a conscience, such counsel is nothing short of domestic violence. Sure, I know like any parent that kids venture through a lot in search of identity and intimacy. But as coauthors of a son or daughter, we have a vested interest in that child’s fruitfulness. We cannot agree with a label that caps his or her creativity. It does violence to a young life; it does violence to parents who naturally want more for their children.

If a child discloses conflictual desires with a parent, what a sacred trust! We hear him or her with tenderness and gratitude for such trust. But we don’t even consider defining him or her according to disordered desires. We tune our love according to their needs, dignifying a person by confirming the gift of his manhood or her womanhood.

That’s why the Church needs to be crystal clear on radiant Jesus who leads all His members into chastity: integrating one’s sexual gift and growing (as we all must) to give that gift well. That’s why our leaders must embrace chastity and resist decisively the temptation to name a person according to mere desires.

We name him son, her daughter, of one Father and summon that one in the authority of a good Mother Church who provides the one remaining refuge from LGBTQ+ madness. The enemy is cunning here: pastors may think they are advocating for the child, defending his or her ‘true’ self and even preventing an early death by suicide. No, we tenderly yet firmly behold and bless the real man or woman behind the rainbow veil. This is our call as members of one Church.

Let’s raise up these foundations now, good Church. If we don’t, there will be hell to pay. Again, heed those churches that confirmed LGBTQ+-identified persons in Jesus’ name. Heed the fallout of endless discussions on what ‘gay’ couple deserves blessing, why your Catholic middle school can’t have a ‘gay’ club, how to manage the marriage that blows up when Jim is free to be Jane. If we let it, that error will divide individuals, families, churches, schools, universities, and seminaries.

In the end, it will empower pastors to confirm our children as LGBTQ+ Christians, as did the pastor in my opening example. As a father who understands same-sex attraction well, I wouldn’t let such a pastor near my child.

Take heart. Parents are getting the memo and upping their game to guide kids well. Last week a fine Christian father introduced himself to me after Sunday service. A teacher at a Catholic school, he recounted how 20 years earlier God put on his heart ‘that if the Church doesn’t teach chastity well now, our kids will be lost to sexual disorder in the future. To my concern but not surprise, I just noticed two persuasive promotions for LGBTQ+ gatherings on campus.’ But he added: ‘I love chastity more than ever. And my son who struggles with his sexuality does too. We are learning together how to integrate the gift of our masculinity.’

He asked how else he could help his son. Easy answer: ‘Your humble accompaniment of your son toward chastity is the answer to the domestic violence provoked by LGBTQ+ stuff.’ What a guy. What a father. My spirit soared home from Mass.

‘Thank You Jesus for raising up mothers and fathers who can cast a clear vision of chastity for their children! We who co-created them can highlight the path and encourage them to take it. Give us faith, hope, and love for our pastors in this hour, that we might encourage them too. They have authority to confirm real personhood; may each one do so with conviction and compassion.’

‘Father, we thank You for Jesus who established the Church on a Rock against which hell will not prevail (Matt 16:18). We pray for every Christian leader to build on Her firm foundation of sexual clarity and integrity. Father, unmask the deceiver and divider of Christians and unite us in one Spirit. As weak members of Christ, we ask for truth to guide our pursuit of sexual wholeness, for grace to sustain it, and for spiritual power to transform us. May we reflect the chaste radiance of Jesus (2 Cor. 3:18) as we “shine like stars in the universe, holding out the word of life” (Phil. 2:15-16) to a lost and hurting world.’


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