So Far

Amanda and Rich invited us into their relationship last year when they married. Today they update us on their life together.

Looking back on our first year of marriage, we have loved the opportunity to know each other more deeply. That means in the beauty of ‘gift-giving’ and in places of brokenness where each of us is still healing.

I, Rich, have come to experience the deep graciousness of Amanda’s heart, especially during disagreement and relational tension. I’m amazed by her faith: mature and rich. God is good—and Amanda knows this to her core. Her belief in the goodness of Jesus is unshakable.

I, Amanda, am allowing Rich to care for me rather than to revert to stubborn self-reliance. As a result, I’m noticing positive changes in my physical health! I didn’t realize how much I needed a quiet, hardworking, and steady man—someone who rarely speaks first, but when he does, often reveals wisdom, tenderness, and brilliance of mind.

Our first year has been filled with the joy of building a life together. Our growth in intimacy has included facing unexpected transitions and losses together, including the passing of close loved ones.

These challenges have brought stress, shaking us and pushing us to lean more on Jesus and each other. Life hasn’t looked like we imagined. In the uncertainty, we’re learning to support and fight for one another when fears surface.

In facing them and refusing to hide from one another, we’ve encountered the Lord gently guiding us, like a father leading a child through the dark. For me (Rich), that means learning to wait on the Lord and allow things to unfold in His time. I (Amanda) am learning to trust God with Rich, as well as to trust God through Rich.

Though challenging, our first year of marriage has brought us great hope for the future. We unite in placing God at the center and seeking to be active members in a local church. We believe there is nothing we cannot face together.

One decision we made from the start was to continue Christian counseling throughout the first year of our marriage. We didn’t pursue this because things were “falling apart,” but because we’re both aware of our complex backgrounds. We wanted to remain in a posture of learning and growth.

We've also stayed in the stream of Living Waters by serving in local groups. The community of Living Waters and the opportunity to give ourselves to others seeking healing from sexual and relational brokenness are life-giving priorities for both of us.

One night I’ll (Amanda) never forget was when we taught Chapter Five from Living Waters together. It says, “Image-bearers, unlike animals and plants, can think and aspire and choose what is true and good. We can discern the good; we can do the good. The gift of our free will means that we can decide to honor and dignify others’ lives.”

There we were: a man who had used women as objects due to deep dishonor from women, and me, a woman who once believed God had mistakenly made her female and who numbed herself in lesbian relationships.

But through Jesus's transforming power, we are now walking out complementarity in the beautiful mess of marriage. Who would have thought? What a gift! Glory to God for bringing us so far!