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‘How can I not?’ he reasoned, as he listed the divorces, affairs, co-habitation and children born out-of-wedlock in his family. We are inundated daily with the breakdown of holy boundaries in heterosexual relating. A new poll reveals that 61% of US singles have sex on their first date; not surprisingly, for the first time in US history, more than half of births to American women under 30 now occur outside of marriage. The devolving of heterosexual morality in our culture is t

He made his case boldly–I am gay, I am good, I am normal. Rosie O’Donnell said it incredulously in a recent interview: ‘Can you believe in the 21st century we are still questioning whether homosexuality is normal?’ To be ‘normal’ is precisely what drives ‘gay marriage’. It is not because gays want monogamous bliss, or even particular rights; they want to cure the incurable—to demonstrate to themselves and to the culture around them that they are ‘normal’, just regular folks.

A senator from New Jersey insists that ‘marriage equality’ is a ‘civil right guaranteed by our Constitution’; in Washington State, a senator fell off the fence to become the defining vote for ‘gay marriage’ on these grounds: ‘I believe in traditional marriage…but this is about everyone having the same opportunities for love and companionship and family and security that I have enjoyed.’ Equality. Love. Family. Security. These words play upon our emotions and tempt us to exten

A dear friend recently eulogized his mother with these words: ‘You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.’ (PS 61:5) The Psalmist refers to God as the giver; my friend added to that his acknowledgement of the faith he inherited from his good, god-fearing mother. I contemplated the reference to fearing God. What does that mean? Uncomfortable with fear in our therapeutic age, certain that all shame is bad and that honoring anything greater than ourselves is a s

These family members are now subject to deceived, politicized loved ones whose ‘gay selves’ have turned hard and cold toward the ones they left behind. Times have changed, people. No longer are we dealing with same-sex strugglers in search of alternatives to ‘the gay self’; this generation seeks only its confirmation. Those family members who cannot in good conscience bless him as ‘gay’ or her as ‘lesbian’ are deemed unloving at best, and probably abusive. Repentance unto Mer

— Mercy for Minors ‘Truth wears a crown of thorns.’ (1103) Jesus instructed St. Faustina: ‘Pray to defend the souls of children against the spirit of evil.’ (1156) That’s why we fight for marriage—one man committed to one woman. For the sake of the children conceived there, we vie for the integrity and clarity of marriage. Little ones have no vote in the battle to redefine marriage. They have no voice to speak out the shame visited upon them by two moms or dads. Children are

— Mercy for Marriage ‘O Jesus, You do not give a reward for the successful performance of a work, but for the good will and the labor undertaken. Therefore, I am completely at peace, even if all my efforts and undertakings shall be thwarted or even come to naught.’ (952) In 2000, God called Desert Stream Ministries to fight for marriage in the USA. Reaching for the gold ring of ‘normal’, gay activists were seeking to redefine marriage by excluding the need for one man committ

— Patience and Mercy ‘The greatest power is hidden in patience. I see that patience always leads to victory, although not immediately; but that victory will become manifest after many years.’ (1514) During this fast, we are crying out for many ‘fruitless’ ones who have wandered far from their home in Christ. We beg God to manifest His Mercy to them. At the same time, we know that God is priming us to be merciful, an answer to our own prayers. He intends to fertilize and break

— Mercy for Beloved Enemies ‘Be always merciful, as I am merciful. Love everyone out of love for Me, even your greatest enemies, so that My Mercy may be fully reflected in Your heart.’ (1695) St. Faustina recorded those words as she listened to God. She was distressed, as a fellow sister in her religious order was spreading lies about her. Housemates’ cool and suspicious response to Faustina alerted her to such gossip. She listened to God, sought His Mercy in order to forgive

— Humility and Mercy ‘God has surrounded me with His special Mercy precisely because I am the weakest of all people.’ (1099) ‘Humility is nothing but the truth.’ (1502) Mercy opens our eyes to the Creator who upon the Cross gave us everything. Mercy opens our eyes to the magnificence of our God. In the light of His splendor, our only honest response is humility. He created all yet we are but one of a billion created beings—humbling. He never sinned yet He gave up everything t

‘When the battle becomes too much for me, I throw myself like a child into the arms of the Heavenly Father and trust I will not perish…I do not lose heart. I trust God’s grace, which abounds in the worst misery.’ (606) Bad shame can trap us; the traditions of men are tricky. They may have truth on their side, but they forfeit the main rule which governs Jesus’ morality—Mercy for the sin-sick, who in turn extend Mercy out of a recognition of their own moral vulnerability. How

— ‘Do not fear anything, I am with you. These matters are in My hands and I will bring them to fruition according to My mercy, for nothing can oppose My will.’ (573) God was merciful to me in my ‘waterless pit’; He drew me out of the hell of homosexuality through Heavenly Mercy. Without mercy, I would have died young, never to have known or created real life. Mercy matters; without it, sin and death prevail. We eat poisoned fruit and suffer either an immediate or a slow and a

Not a good idea. My motives were impure—I wanted to have fun again, and the peculiar Christians I had met were not fun. Needless to say, I immediately returned to my old habits. Only this time it was not fun. I found myself guilty, ill at ease with new ‘friends’, feeling and acting false. I was not being true to the stream of new life coursing through me. I had to stifle the Spirit in me to dance with other spirits. I loved the French family. But they did not know what to do

During Holy Week, we pause to consider Jesus’ cross and the smaller one He asks us to carry. The goal? To know Him more. Perhaps He will invite you in these days to ‘keep watch with Him’ in His suffering. We take another step toward Calvary by considering the ways we have been sinned against. He has not suffered only for our sins and foolishness; His cross-walk had as much to do with the gaps and gashes we bear due to others’ sins. Isaiah 53:4, 5 says it best: ‘Surely He bore

Through our four children, mercy breaks like waves upon Annette and me. They delight us. All in their twenties now, each possess unique gifts and strengths—Greg’s kindness, Nick’s astute analysis, Kate’s perseverance and lack of pretense, Sam’s integrity. All four remind us daily of the gift God gave us in each one, each the fruit of our marital love. For us, the family is all ‘gift’, each child a sign and a wonder. In each, we marvel at the mercy of God towards us. Our child

Since our transition to Kansas City, God has provided two men who have stood with me in prayerful friendship: Mike and Morgan. I am not sure I could have stayed true to the Lord without them. When I have been discouraged, they speak God’s truth to me; when unsure, they speak wisdom. They have helped me close the gap between things we aspire to in faith and the uneven ground our feet trod on this earth. Most practically, we help each other to love our wives and kids well. We h

While doing a conference in Denver many years ago, a vigorous young man introduced himself to me as Christopher West; he was then the ‘marriage and family’ guy for the Archdiocese of Denver. He loved our emphases on healing through the cross and community. And he wanted me to have a copy of John Paul II’s book: The Theology of the Body, the late great pope’s sweeping take on human sexuality. Wow. What a meal. For the next couple of years I slowly ate what I now regard as perh

Running hard in the jungles of Venezuela or on the pampas of Argentina (or crazy lost anywhere in Europe) may sound fun but actually it is exhausting. And so I was upon returning home after a particularly arduous trip. Annette and I took a few days off—no release; I increased my sleep each night—no release. Everything seemed hard and a hassle; even normal sources of connection and renewal seemed more a drain than a gift. I was approaching burn-out (the experts call it ‘pre bu

A good marriage is supreme among human relationships; a troubled marriage wrecks havoc. The most basic and powerful building block on earth cuts both ways. One cannot taste the glory of marriage without also risking its shame. For example, Annette and I work together, engage constantly on domestic matters throughout the day, and sleep together at night. When rightfully submitted to one another, we both experience a grace and peace that pervades our efforts. But when at odds f